Church's Playmate
by Angst-Ridden-Teenager2468
Summary: What really happened to Chairman Meow? Quick one-shot. Nominated for Best Comedy/Parody at The 2009 Mortal Instruments Fan Fiction Awards.


**Disclaimer: No, I do not own Mortal Instruments. Wish I owned Jace Wayland though.. ; )**

**It was a totally random descion to post this. Ever since Breaking Dawn came out (don't get me into that), I've had nothing to do with the Twilight fan fiction fandom - BD wrapped up all ends, and left nothing for me. Needless to say I didn't like it.**

**Anywho, the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare caught my eye (No, it was not the hot shirtless guy on the cover of Cob... well, maybe it was partially). I read the series and fell in love with it. Now, in my world, Jace Wayland, or whatever he's called, beats Edward Cullen into the dust. So here's a quick one-shot for MI, something I couldn't get off my mind.**

**Ever wonder what happened to Chairman Meow, Magnus's cat?**

Isabelle's scream rang through the halls of the Institute, like a tolling church bell. The sound reached the library, where Jace, Alec, Clary and Magnus were all crowded around the desk that had previously belonged to Hodge, sorting through his belongings.

The group abandoned their work, fleeing to where Isabelle's scream had resonated from, with Clary and her short legs trailing far behind.

"Iz? What is it?They aren't back yet, right?" Alec asked, thinking of their parents. He cast a nervous glance behind him at Magnus, who was wheezing like his lungs were broken, as he leaned against the side of the wall next to Clary. Their reaction to a warlock in the Institute would be explosive enough to call fall-out in China.

Isabelle didn't respond, merely staring into the closet she'd opened. Her body blocked the innards of the closet from view.

"What's so interesting about a closet," drawled Jace, not at all out of breath. "Alec isn't coming out of it, is he?" Alec blushed a violent hue of red, while Magnus chuckled softly. Alec glared at him. As if by the power of the Shadowhunter boy's glare, Magnus descended again into a coughing fit.

Clary got up and peered over Isabelle's shoulder. Jace did the same, keeping a fair amount of distance from Clary

"What the hell..." he began.

In the closet Church was entwined with a black cat. The floor of the closet, which might've been an overflow for the weapons room, was in disarray. The unfamiliar cat had silver and golden lightning-esque stripes jolting down it's back, and to it's tail, which was wrapped around Church's face, tickling the Persian cat, who was meewwing with pleasure.

"Aw, hey, it's Chairman Meow!" exclaimed Magnus.

"I thought he was dead!" blustered Clary.

"Well, obvviously he found a reason to live,' sniffed the warlock.

"I thought he was a _male_ cat," said an amused Jace.

"Your cat- and my cat- cats together- " stuttered Alec.

"Well he was sort of living with a gay warlock," noted Clary. "It was bound to rub off on him sometime." Jace grinned, and looked back at interlaced cats. "You know, they sort of remind me of Alec and Magnus -"

"SHUT UP," yelled Alec, slamming the closet door closed, unwittingly pushing his sister into the closet with the cats. Clary heard several crashes, a cat's shriek, and then Isabelle roar,"ALEC LIGHTFOOT! GET ME OUT OF HERE, OR ELSE I WILL - OWWW!"

Alec tried to open the door, but it had been pushed into the door frame with far too much force. Jace's frame shook with silent laughter."Sorry, Izzy! I'll try -"

"YOU'LL TRY? YOU'RE A SHADOWHUNTER! DON'T JUST _TRY_!"

Alec turned to them for help. Magnus muttered, "Oh, for the love of sparkly latex," and waved a hand in the air, making the door sweep open. Before Alec could move out of the way, or Isabelle could get out, the door swooped closed, dragging it's next victim into it's bowels - Alec.

"Hey! Get us OUT OF HERE! Isabelle don't - Shit!"

"They can never get enough of each other," muttered Jace, shaking his head. A smile played upon his lips.

"_They_ can't?" Magnus grinned mischeviously, his white teeth sparkling. "I'm fairly sure you two would enjoy being locked in a closet far more than they do." With that, Magnus skipped away, his glimmering coat whipping behind him, leaving in his wake a stunned Clary and Jace, and a few skeletons in the closet

**Well, that's it. Hope you liked it, but hell, I haven't written a fan fic in ages, let alone a fluffly O0c one like this. **

**Now I know it's completely annoying when authors tell you to R&R ("Well, I was going to, but now that you ask..." : ) But please do review. Any comments, whether they be on ways to improve my writing, or simply requests to write more one-shots, are welcome. **


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